It's unarguably, language evolves rapidly, most especially among Gen Z generations. One term that has recently gained traction is demure. Both on TikTok and YouTube etc., everyone kept staying it.
I believe you're reading this blog because:
- Your kids are saying it,
- You're wondering why demure is trending,
- You care to know what it means and how to possibly use the term.
Whatever the case, this article explains what demure means, its origins, its use in modern slang, and the trending phenomenon surrounding it.
By the end of this post, you’ll have a deeper understanding of the word and its relevance and applicability nowadays.
NOTE: This viral trend started with Jools Lebron (arguably), a transgender TikTok creator, who humorously described her makeup routine for work using this phrase in an August 2023 video.
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| photo credit: tiktok @joolieannie: Screenshots showing jools talking about how to be demure |
Her playful approach to femininity and self-presentation struck a chord with viewers.
What Does Demure Mean?
In short, and at it's core, the word demure is an adjective used to describe a person—often a young woman—who is known to have a sense of modesty, shyness, and reserved behavior.
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| what does demure mean - Advanced Oxford Dictionary |
So, when you think of someone (most especially a lady) whose character shows demureness, you might picture a person who carries herself with grace and elegance, often avoiding the spotlight.
I would as well put it as someone who is sensitive, and careful with how she look or someone who is modest in appearance.
How to Identify a demure person
I learnt that Elegance, modesty, shyness and being mindful are 4 major characters you'll see in a person that is demure.
1. Modesty: A woman that is demure tends to dress and behave modestly. Her choices of clothing often reflect a desire to be simple rather than being flashy.
2. Shyness: They may not totally or necessarily introverted, someone that is demure may be more reserved in social activities, preferring to listen more, rather than dominate conversations.
3. Elegance: There’s an inherent elegance in demureness. Demure persons often often exude elegance. They are not loud or showy individuals; rather, they often present themselves with poise.
4. Mindfulness: Demure individuals are often mindful of their surroundings and how they present themselves to others.
Why is everyone saying demure.
I have heard of the word demure a few times, but I never knew it's going to be a household word that even the trend setters on tiktok are looking into trademarking it.
I for one believe social media, influences the rapid surge or increase in its usage.
The phrase "very demure, very mindful" gained popularity on social media, especially TikTok and YouTube, blending humor and a modern take on modesty and self-awareness.
Key Reasons why people are saying demure:
Humor and Irony: The phrase is used humorously to describe light-hearted moments, like eating pizza demurely.
Relatability: It resonates with people balancing personal expression and professional expectations.
Celebrity Endorsement: Figures like Jenna Ortega and George Kittle have embraced the trend, increasing its visibility.
Cultural Impact: Reflects a shift toward valuing authenticity and mindfulness over showiness. Encourages empowerment through self-awareness rather than conforming to societal expectations.
The meaning of Demure in Different Contexts
As I have written earlier, the word demure can perfectly fit in usage in different context and culture, though not generally subjective. Take for instance;
- In Fashion: In fashion terms, demure clothing may mean a typically conservative dress that does not reveal much skin. For instance, a high-neck blouses, long skirts, or tailored dresses that exude elegance without being overly revealing.
- In Behavioral Context: In terms of behavior most especially in social settings, being demure might mean engaging in conversation with a soft-spoken demeanor or showing restraint in expressing opinions.
- In Art and Literature: In literature or art, being very demure can be portrayed through characters or subjects that shows grace and subtlety.
Where does demure comes from?
The term "demure" has its roots in the Middle English word *demur*, which originally meant "to delay" or "to hesitate." Over time, its meaning evolved to describe someone who is serious or reserved.
The word also has ties to Old French *demourer*, meaning "to dwell" or "to remain," which further emphasizes the idea of being grounded and composed.
Where Did the Very Demure Very Mindful Trend Come From?
The resurgence of interest in the term “demure”, very demure, very mindful can be traced back to several cultural influences. However, as I stated earlier the trend picked up during one of Jools Lebron tutorials on TikTok. Although Selyna Brillare claims she was the original creator of the term demure back in 2022 - 2023.
Irrespective of whoever stated it, our study shows that the term very demure, very mindful can be traced to influences such as:
The rise of vintage fashion has brought back styles that reflect modesty and elegance reminiscent of past decades—think classic Hollywood glamour or 90s minimalism.
Influencers who promote sustainable fashion often advocate for timeless pieces over fast fashion trends. This aligns well with the idea of being demure - favoring quality over quantity.
With increasing awareness around mental health issues among Gen Z, there’s also been a push towards mindfulness and self-care practices that encourage individuals to embrace simplicity in their lives.
Common Situations Where Gen Z Uses "Very Demure"
As you navigate social media or engage in conversations with friends, you might encounter the phrase “very demure” in various contexts:
1. Makeup Tutorials
In makeup tutorials on TikTok or YouTube, creators and influencers may showcase looks that are subtle yet elegant.
For instance, they might say something like, “This look is very demure,” while applying soft colors that enhance natural beauty without overwhelming it.
2. Fashion Choices
Talking about outfit choices for events like brunches or casual outings, you might hear someone say they’re going for a “very demure” look by opting for classic pieces like a fitted blazer paired with tailored trousers.
3. Everyday Activities
The phrase can also be applied to everyday activities, for instance, when someone shares how they eat their lunch “very demurely,” showcasing neatness and grace while eating the food.
4. Social Interactions
In social settings where someone may choose to listen more than speak or engage in light-hearted banter without dominating the conversation, friends might remark that they are acting “very demure.”
What Does "Very Demure" Mean in Slang?
Among Gen Z, "very demure" has taken on a playful meaning that goes beyond its traditional meaning. It suggests an awareness of one’s appearance and behavior while maintaining an air mindfulness.
For instance;
- You might hear someone jokingly refer to themselves as “very demure” after sharing an embarrassing story but doing so with grace.
- When discussing trends that seem overly extravagant or ostentatious, one might say they prefer things that are “very demure” as a form of critique.
Conclusion
In short, "demure" means more than what the dictionary says - it also reflects culture and personal style today. Whether you like the elegance of being demure or enjoy the humor in how Gen Z uses it, the word carries different meanings that fit many situations.
What do you think you?